It got me thinking. Reducing uncertainty is used in dating. How many of us have been on a date where you are so uncertain about the person, it practically obliterates any chance of having a conversation with them? Maybe some of us have been on those dates where trying to find something you like about the person maybe pointless because they just seem uninterested. I can tell you that I've been on several of those dates where you don't know too much about the other person and yet you are trying to tread softly and be reserved so you can impress someone.
But sometimes that may not work and the other person can tell how uncomfortable you are thus increasing uncertainty. Maybe that person wanted or expected you to be more forthcoming and relaxed from the get go so that they can make an observation and formulate an opinion on you. Sometimes that's how it works. It's like they are scouting for your personality. If they like what they see and hear, uncertainty is reduced and as a result the conversation and expectancies are opened up more.
I've been on a date where I was so nervous, I prepared for it by setting up a picnic, bought flowers, made a mix cd for the occasion and then when we got to our destination, like a jackass, I confessed that I liked the girl a lot and I asked her if she liked me. Way to go huh? I at least could have waited till the second date, which never happened. My point is that people respond in different ways to this which is why I think there is so many axioms in the first place. Sometimes knowing the truth, in this case for her, increases uncertainty. My god , I'm laughing so hard right now about this. Maybe crying too. Sometimes you have to leave room for the unknown. Every girl has different tastes.
1 comment:
You've given a good example where uncertainty reduction theory seems highly applicable. Knowing more information about the other person can make it easier to decide on how that person defines a "date" and what that person expects. So many of the strategies before and during the "date" are often geared toward finding out more about the person--which should reduce uncertainty. Although sometimes more information only raises uncertainty levels. The quality of the information is a factor as well. Your example also speaks to social penetration theory discussed in Chapter 9. Too much self-disclosure too soon often violates reciprocity norms.
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