It's interesting to know a person more intimately if they feel like disclosing something that you want to know about them. That sort of evaluates the level and closeness of the relationship as well as gets the person to open up more about their feelings. How much is a person willing to disclose though? Think about when we do open up to someone. How much are we willing to tell them and how much to we still keep for ourselves? I don't think that a whole lot of people are capable of disclosing everything, such as their feelings or thoughts, because those things are re-occurring and ever-changing. Us, as wedges, can only get so far to learn more about the person.
Its up them and us if we want to tell someone something. And in the end, we have to want to.
I guess this can kind of be combined with therapy. And as I think about it, Dr. Drew Pinsky, a board certified physician, addiction medicine speacialist, helps a lot of people in his practice and radio show(Love Line) just by offering advice and in return getting his patients and listeners to disclose certain information that allows Dr. Drew to give his expert medical advice and or diagnosis.
On top of being a doctor, he also has a mountain of credibility and rapport, and knowledge to go with his practice. Maybe that's why people can trust going to him for advice. I've been listening to him since I was 13 years old and throughout this time, just listening to the advice he has given for all those years, he truly has passion for his work. He's helped me through some of my most difficult years, my teen years. Granted I never called the show because I decided I was mature enough at that age to figure things out for myself and take the right path.
Now, I have noticed that my friends and other aquaintences, for some reason decide to confide in me about problems they are having. Surprisingly enough I have given them good advice. I think to mysefl, What would Dr. Drew say? I surprise myself with some of the stuff I say because it helps my friends to understand.
When I ask my friends who told them to come talk to me they give a name of someone who I have offered advice to previously. I feel good about that.
I think I can go further into the onion without forcing a wedge into it. And I think it all has to do with the technique of cutting it open.
1 comment:
Hello Q,
Great post - I enjoyed the concept you discussed about comparing our disclosures to layers of onions.
You asked a couple of questions in your blog post...How much is a person willing to disclose though? Think about when we do open up to someone. How much are we willing to tell them and how much to we still keep for ourselves?
I believe the answer is different for each person. There are some people out there whose lives are like open books. I have a friend who seems to have no secrets from the world - she comes to work talking about even the most detailed part of her weekend. Then I have another friend who likes to keep things very private - even though I've known her for years, she won't ever really talk about her personal life (including relationships, her family, her job, school etc), even if you ask or tease her about it. And it's not just me - that's just her personality. She only reveals what is asked by the other person, she doesnt volunteer information like the first friend I described. So I think in part it depends upon your personality in terms of how deep into the layers of the onion you have to go to reveal certain things. We are not all the same.
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